The Usenet Oracle has pondered your question deeply.
Your question was:

>      O great Oracle, the one who sees all and knows all, please accept
>      this humble question from thy grovelling supplicant...
> 
>      Why is Windows 95 Beta so bug-ridden it's not funny?

And in response, thus spake the Usenet Oracle:

}  THE SCENE:  A dark antechamber of the Gates estate, dimly lit by three
}  20" monitors suspended from the ceiling.  In the middle of the room is
}  a Pentium/100Hz, sheathed in a black casing.  Three programmers dance
}  around the machine, chanting horribly.  Their pale, clammy complexion
}  is cast hideously by the light of the monitors, rendered even more
}  repugnant to the watchful eye bye the 60Hz flicker of the monitors.
}  
}  FIRST PROGRAMMER:  Thrice the brinded net hath mewed.
}  
}  SECOND PROGRAMMER:  Thrice, and once the Warp-pig whined.
}  
}  THIRD PROGRAMMER:  MacHarpier cries.  'Tis time, 'tis time!
}  
}  FIRST:  Round about the terminal go;
}          In the poisoned upgrade throw.
}          Code, which by a student done
}          In minutes numbering sixty-one.
}          Run-time error, protection fault,
}          Crash ye first, crash ye shalt.
}  
}  ALL [as they dance around the Pentium]:
}        Double, double, toil and trouble;
}        Tempers burn and data bubble.
}  
}  SECOND: Fillet of a Sound Card bake,
}          In the Pentium no sound make;
}          Point of arrow, click of mouse,
}          Scream of user, frightened spouse,
}          OS/2's net use appeal,
}          Steve Jobs' look and Wozniak's feel.
}          For a charm of powerful trouble,
}          Like a hell-broth boil and bubble.
}  
}  ALL:  Double, double, toil and trouble;
}        Tempers burn and data bubble.
}  
}  THIRD: Click "Start" button, speed of slug,
}         You would think you forgot the plug.
}         Multitasking, ha ha ho
}         If just one worked you'd be good to go.
}         This should grab those straggling few
}         Who aren't using DOS 6.22.
}         Now we shall the Mac eclipse,
}         While curse words cross our users' lips.
}         Leave the errors in so we can fix
}         And sell more...Windows 96!
}         And so we will release the Beta
}         For corruption of their data.
}  
}  ALL:  Double, double, toil and trouble;
}        Users buy, our profits double.
}  
}  SECOND: Compile it with errors through,
}          Since the users have no clue.
}  
}  [Enter BillGate to the other three programmers.]
}  
}  BillGate:  O, well done!  I commend your pains,
}             And everyone shall share i' the gains.
}             And now about the program get,
}             But NEVER use it on OUR net.
}             Security is scarce put in.
}                                [Beeps of PONG heard in the background.]
}                                [Exit BillGate.]
}  
}  SECOND WITCH:  By the usage of my UMBs
}                 Wicked Windows this way comes.
}                 Open locks,
}                 Whoever knocks!
}  
}  [Fade to black.]
}  
}  Remember, Obsolescence isn't an accident, it's an art form.
}  
}  You owe the Oracle a signed, handwritten manuscript of MacBeth, and a
}  copy of the Windows upgrade for the P6.